User Profile

I am originally from the west coast and will consider myself from there as long as I am around. I have transplanted to the east coast since March of 2000, and since then have felt quite bereft of things I had long taken for granted. Don't get me wrong, I gained much in the move. I have a wonderful husband and two great kids and a wonderful family here. However I also left a wonderful family behind, as well as friends. The lifestyle here is way more fast paced and stressful comparatively speaking. My husband has no idea what I mean when I say this, as he has lived here his whole life. It is way too hard to explain. I can only hope I publish and sell enough books that we can afford to visit the west extensively, so he can see the difference, the freedom and happiness I see over there, compared to over here. Not that the east is horrible. It is not. However it is winter while I am writing this and I hate the cold, so, everything looks bleaker in the winter.
On a side note, I am disabled, and have been for more than six years. For those who actually read what I write, just for understanding, I am going to say what my disabilities are here, this one time.
I have been diagnosed with Thyroid Disease, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, PTSD(from childhood traumas), IBS, Chronic Pain Syndrome, Three Herniated Discs(S1-L5, L5-L4, C?), Degenerative Disc Disease, Nerve Damage from said herniations, Migraines, Dequarvain's Tenosynovitis, Carpal Tunnel.
We have just moved out of an apartment that was infested with mold. Upon looking up mold and the symptoms it can cause, I have noticed that many of the symptoms I had for the things I was diagnosed with also correspond with mold toxicity. We have lost our health coverage for the time being, so once I again have coverage, I will be looking into whether or not mold played a key in my becoming disabled. One thing to note. I did not become lethargic or have fibromyalgia like symptoms in the extreme until after we moved into the apartment. After two years, I had to quit my job. After that I was pretty much housebound and to control pain I was on 300 mg of Morphine in various forms; all doctor prescribed. After switching doctors for insurance reasons, a good doctor asked me if I was satisfied with the amount I was on, because it was "an awful lot". I told him I felt like I was missing my kids lives, even though I wasn't in pain anymore. We knocked the pain meds down, because realistically, if I got into a car accident or something, what more could they give me?? That idea scared me, so now I am on limited pain meds and am doing fine, though my house unfortunately is not. I have given up being able to clean my house as well as I would like to, so that I am able to connect with my kids. They are more important than dust bunnies. So is my fight to become a productive member of society again. Health is a big thing to me and something I took for granted for the time I had it. Don't ever take it for granted. It, like most things, can leave.
Also, I hate change. I know it is necessary, I know it is normal, and that there is one constant and that is everything changes. Nothing stays the same, and I am constantly fighting for everything to stay the same. Losing battle and one I am trying to stop fighting.

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